|
Post by shark on Apr 6, 2010 11:16:10 GMT -7
When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!" One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun.. ~Emo Philips
|
|
|
Post by shark on Apr 6, 2010 11:23:22 GMT -7
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? ~Steven Wright
|
|
|
Post by shark on Apr 6, 2010 11:24:32 GMT -7
How young can you die of old age? ~Steven Wright
|
|
|
Post by shark on Apr 6, 2010 11:25:33 GMT -7
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. ~Steven Wright
|
|
|
Post by shark on Apr 6, 2010 11:25:57 GMT -7
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. ~Steven Wright
|
|
|
Post by shark on Apr 6, 2010 11:26:24 GMT -7
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy. ~Steven Wright
|
|
|
Post by shark on Apr 6, 2010 11:26:58 GMT -7
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it. ~Steven Wright
|
|
|
Post by shark on Apr 6, 2010 11:27:47 GMT -7
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator. ~Steven Wright
|
|
|
Post by shark on Apr 6, 2010 11:28:23 GMT -7
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.' ~Steven Wright
|
|